Life Less Frightening
by mitdemadlerimherzen
Summary: Miroku struggles a bit in the aftermath of the Final Battle . Sango is there for him.


**Life Less Frightening**

It was late afternoon when Sango went in search of him. The monk had been notably absent almost all day and she worried. After the events of the final battle had finally settled down a bit and the shock of Kagome's disappearance had quieted to a dull ache in her friends' chests, after the business of divesting of Naraku's remains, after soothing Shippou so much that he would at least eat again, after sending off Kohaku with Kirara to see Totosai about his scythe and after an enforced shouting match with Inuyasha which had the hanyou storming off into the woods to hopefully finally grieve about his loss (they knew better than to expect him to confide in them, even after all this time), Sango woke up to find Miroku sitting in a corner of Kaede's hut (where they were invited to make camp until they decided where to go from there), watching her with a tentative smile.

After breakfast she had entertained Shippou, who had asked to learn about taking care of weapons (most likely to keep himself from thoughts about Kagome) and Miroku had excused himself and she had not seen him since. Now, it wasn't unusual that he wandered off for a while – or a day when business was slow going. And since the triumph over Naraku there really had been not much to do besides cleaning up. Once this had been done, the little band of ex shard seekers had been at a loss as to what to do with their time.

But the later it grew, the more Sango worried. A part of her wondered if he'd fallen back into his usual behaviour and gone off with one of the girls in the village (though she was fairly sure that he wouldn't do more than a bit of flirting).

She stayed clear of the part of forest where the Bone Eating Well had been, certain that Inuyasha had left in that direction and that Miroku would not have wanted to bother the hanyou there. So she trekked along a path that wound around the forest in a wide arch, finally crossing a stream and weaving parallel to that stream on the other side.

The sun was low on the horizon when she found him at last. He was sitting on a small boulder, facing the stream, his face buried in his hands and his elbows resting on his knees. Sango started towards him and then stopped dead. His shoulders were shaking, as if he were…

Crying.

Her heart stopped beating for a second and then started back up, twice as fast as before. A thousand questions shot through her head, warring to be the one she voiced. Was he hurt? Had he been attacked? Did he have second thoughts about marrying her?

The last one, stupidly, won the battle and swam tauntingly before her. Sango swallowed and set her shoulders. Whatever it was, they would talk about it and solve the problem. She quietly stepped before him and knelt down.

"Houshi-sama?"

Her tentative tone still startled him badly. He flinched as if she'd slapped him and almost fell off the boulder. His right hand was halfway toward his staff when his tear streaked gaze focused on her and he blinked in the fading orange sunlight.

"Sango…" he breathed.

"Forgive me if I startled you," she said quietly, slowly reaching towards his wet cheek, brushing the smooth skin there. Miroku closed his eyes at the soft contact and breathed deeply.

"What has you so worked up?" Sango finally asked, meeting his eyes. "Houshi-sama?"

Miroku favoured her with a wry half-smile and a raised eyebrow. "Will you call me by my name if I tell you?"

Sango's face remained troubled, but she nodded once, her heart beating even faster. She tried to steel herself for whatever would come next.

Miroku's eyes softened as he looked at her, contemplating his answer. He knew what he felt, but how to put it into words?

"I... I'm overwhelmed, I think... I feel too much all at once. Sango, I never really believed I would ever live to see this curse undone," he cradled his right hand into his left one, caressing the place where the Kazaana had not long ago been with his thumb, following the movement with his eyes. "Not until the very end. Now is like a dream come true, a dream I tried not to imagine before and I have no idea what to do now. What was once my life's purpose is gone and I feel... lost."

Sango tentatively took both his hands in hers, pushing herself up on her knees before him, so she could better look into his eyes (relieved that she understood his feelings and that he did not want to break away from her). "You are not alone," she said. "Miroku."

His gaze snapped up to hers at the sound of his name and he slipped his hands from hers but before she could be disappointed he had his arms around her, one across her shoulders and one circling her waist, his face buried between her shoulder and neck. Sango stiffened for an instant, half expecting one of his hands to find it's way to her bottom, but when it didn't happen, she relaxed into his embrace and put her arms around him, too.

"I am so unfathomably sad." Muffled words made their way to her ears. "That Kagome-sama is gone. I hurt for Inuyasha and Shippou. But mostly for Inuyasha. But I am also unbelievably happy." His breath tickled her neck, an entirely too welcome feeling. "That I have outlived this curse. That we're alive, all of us... even Kagome-sama. But most of all I am thankful..." He raised his head from her shoulder and placed a kiss upon the junction of her neck and shoulder that shot a bolt of energy through her. His right hand – his whole, untainted, unmarked right hand – cupped her cheek and he met her eyes. "For you."

His soft smile faded, turning sad. "I feel guilty though, for being so happy. Kagome-sama and Inuyasha... they deserved their happy ending, too. I feel guilty for getting what they didn't, while I did nothing to deserve this."

"Hou- Miroku," Sango interrupted sternly. "You didn't deserve a black hole in your hand either. You didn't deserve to be robbed of your childhood, of a family, because Naraku held a grudge against your grandfather!"

Sango's voice had risen and Miroku could only stare while she worked hersef into a rage. "That wasn't fair. What Naraku did... to any of us, wasn't fair. You didn't have it any easier than either one of us others. You had a death sentence on your head! I could have turned away anytime had I chosen to."

"No, you couldn't. That is not who you are," Miroku cut her off, staring into her eyes like they were his lifeline.

Sango blushed under his intense stare. "Maybe not. But I understand how you feel. All of it. I feel the same. The sadness, the happiness and the guilt. But you know what?"

His smile was soft, when he touched his forehead to hers. "What?" he breathed.

"I believe that Kagome-chan would have wanted us to be happy no matter what. If she were here now, she would tell us off for feeling guilty."

Miroku chuckled. That sounded entirely too much like Kagome. He slipped off the rock he had been sitting on to join Sango on the grass, hugging her loosely against his chest. She sighed in relief and rested her head on his shoulder.

"She wanted us together you know," he began, playing with the prayer beads from his gauntlet which he still carried with him. "I first noticed this when we were asked to exterminate that ghost of a bear at the castle of the prince Kuranosuke. She kept persisting I go and stop you marrying that man. I told her it was up to you."

"Then you were lucky. She began asking about my feelings toward you only a few weeks after I joined you," Sango informed him.

"Oh?" Miroku glanced down at her. "And since when has Kagome-sama been right, then?"

Sango blushed and looked at the stream, lost in thought. After a while she said: "I'm not exactly sure, but after we had slain that jackal youkai in the woods – the one who had possessed a dead princess – I remember feeling so stupid and after you tried to cheer me up, and grabbed my butt," at this, she threw him a playfully reproachful look, "I remember thinking I should better not grow to like you so much, since you wouldn't look at me twice."

He tightened his grip at her words. "Sango, I'm sorry for all the times I was a jerk towards you. I never knew anything else from my father and Mushin. Can I make it up to you?"

Miroku looked down at her expectantly. Sango felt her face heat up – again – and after searching his eyes for a moment, nodded. He shifted her slightly so that he could cup her cheek properly, his other arm around her waist, he leaned down and brushed her lips with his.

When they broke apart, Sango couldn't help but giggle and Miroku, delighting in the sound, nuzzled her neck, tickling her and making her giggle even more. She squirmed in his arms but he didn't let her go (which resulted in a playful struggle that left them lying in the grass, him above her).

"Miroku, stop," she cried in between fits of laughter. He stopped his ministrations to look into her eyes.

"Please, never call me Houshi-sama again," he laughed, eyes twinkling.

She grinned. "Mi-"

He kissed her right cheek.

"-ro-"

He kissed her left cheek. (Sango could barely contain her laughter.)

"-ku."

And with this he kissed her neck again.

The darkening forest was alight with their laughter while the sun disappeared behind the horizon.

* * *

I feel like I just scraped at the surface here, so it's not too deep. I didn't want to write 20 pages.  
Also are disclaimers still a thing? I don't own these characters, they belong to Rumiko Takahashi and whatnot.

Oh btw, the "Mi - ro - ku" with kisses in between scene is inspired by a similar scene from a fanfic I read sometime. If I ever find it again, I'll link/credit.


End file.
